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The heat was
on. My targeting system had Danielsan acquired, and I
activated my MWDs; I would unload on that motherfucker with
the wrath of the Cobra Kai after the halloween party. I
quickly reached firing range, and let loose with both
missiles. They glided through the air gracefully, passing
through each others white trails like two avian lovers mating
in flight. The ensuing explosions annihilated his shields and
did significant damage to his hull. Oh yes, he would be mine.
He fired back pitifully, his laser volley barely denting me
thanks to my shield booster. I let out a cackle of delight as
I pressed the "fire laser" hotkey, and watched his ship
disappear in an inferno. Payback wasn't mine yet, though. I
fired my ECM ray on his pod, draining it of all its energy and
effectively keeping him from engaging his hyperdrive. I knew
it would take about 20 seconds for his pods' capacitor level
to reach the point again where he could enter hyperspace, so I
wasted no time in messaging.
"Give me 750k or I will pod you, bitch."
Seconds later, the money appeared in my credit box. I was
contented now, but not quite happy. For a moment, my left
index finger wavered over the fire missile hotkey as my
conscience actually questioned whether or not I should blow
this fucker up. The two burning hot streaks ejected themselves
from my ship, furiously shooting towards their target, and 5
seconds later, Danielsan was no more. He didn't bother
messaging me after that; he knew that he had done wrong, and
that the Great Magnet had effected its will upon him. I flew
back towards civilized space, happy and gleeful and free.
I regaled Trazir with my story that night, saying that he
needed to get a cruiser as fast as fucking possible, for the
thrill of a fight and the joyous feeling of seeing your
enemies slain before you was rivalled by nothing in this God
forsaken game. He agreed, but bitched about fiscal problems;
apparently he'd done a few bad trade routes where he actually
ended up selling his acquired goods for less than he bought
them. How this happened, I do not know. Out of the goodness of
my heart, I wired him 2 million. Classes had ended for both of
us by this point, and Trazir overcame his natural laziness,
not by waking up extremely early like me, but by going to bed
extremely late. He would sleep during the day, jerk off during
the night, and wait until the servers came up at 7 AM to start
doing his trade routes. Within a week, he was worth 60 million
credits, and I was nearing the same. But then, one morning
after I logged in, it happened.
I was running my trade routes as usual, when I came upon a
pirate named Lando Griffin. No big deal, I thought to myself,
just hit the MWD key and blast off towards the gate.
"Your ship does not have a sufficient amount of energy to use
that."
"WHAT THE FUCK?" I slammed my finger into the MWD hotkey
again; this must be some sort of joke, some temporary bug in
the game.
"Your ship does not have a sufficient amount of energy to use
that."
The bullets from his machinegun pinged off my shields, doing
considerably damage, and I knew it was only a matter of time.
I watched in terror and heartache as my ship slowly cruised
towards the warp gate; each bullet into its side was like a
cut into my heart. I was carrying 30 million credits worth of
goods, and I was NOT going to let those goods be destroyed. My
only hope was to try and enter hyperspace, try and get away,
try ANYTHING to recover my money. But alas, a moment before my
finger stroked the hyper-drive hotkey, his ECM ray drained my
ship of its energy. I messaged Lando, desperate for survival.
"I'll give you 5 million credits if you let me go. PLEASE
MAN."
He responded with a dual-volley of Phalanx Rockets. My
formidably armored industrial ship was now on fire, each lick
graphical lick of flame consuming the last vestiges of my
morning optimism. I was dead now, and I knew it. I
force-ejected from my ship, hoping that he wouldn't destroy it
if it was unoccupied. My pod hovered in space, like a small
child seperated from its parent. I jammed my finger into the
hyperspace key, and moments later, I blasted off into the
stars. By the time I was tens of kilometers away, I saw a
small speck of light in the galactic horizon. The fucker had
destroyed my ship.
I wasted no time in calling Trazir on the phone. A few days
earlier, he had purchased a cruiser of his own, one that I
knew was just as powerful or even more powerful than my own.
It was an Amarr Maller, a ship with more combat slots on it
than a fucking space station. He told me that the purchasing
price was 40 million, so I knew that unless he got ripped the
fuck off, which was quite possible for him, each of those
slots possessed a piece of ordnance capable of ending a star
system. I flew back to my Moa, which was about 15 jumps away
in Caldari space, and had him meet me there. We were going to
exact revenge, and unless Lando had Han Solo and the entire
rebel armada with him, he was going to have the space
equivalent of dry, painful prison rape.
About an hour later, we arrived at the space sector where I
had been attacked. We were on the phone with each other, which
made instant communication possible, and I hoped that this
would tilt the advantage in our favor if Lando had any other
pirates with him.
"Listen," I said, "If there's more than one, I'll call out a
target, and we both unload on him. Focus fire. Open up with
missiles, keep the pressure on with lasers, and once you think
his hull is at about 50%, fire your ECM."
"Okay, but what if one of us gets badly damaged?"
"Fight to the death. We need to rid the game of these kinds of
scum."
We engaged our hyperdrives and darted towards the jump gate
where I had been destroyed. Vengeance would be mine, and my
foes would rue the day that they crossed me. Or so I thought.
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